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Friday, September 30, 2011

Stand All Ye Faithful

   Not long ago I realized a bitter truth; I’d been turning a blind eye to our environmental problems. I did very little recycling and took my gas guzzling car to places I could have, and should have, walked. My studio was downtown and I decided to take the bus to work. Leaving my car in the garage made me feel like part of the solution instead of part of the problem.
     That first day, the bus was only partially full when I climbed aboard. I had one of the double seats to myself, but eventually someone plunked down beside me, a chatty morning person with solutions to all of the world’s problems. The next day a woman on the seat beside me applied make-up and doused herself with perfume. And more disturbing, several passengers informed me that I have a face that reminds them of someone owing them money. By the time we’d arrive downtown it was standing room only.
     While it’s true that I’m quite a chatterbox, in the morning I need a few hours and several cups of coffee to rev up. I just wanted to be left alone to enjoy a quiet ride. I started bringing books with me; surely I’d be left alone if my nose were buried in a book. But this was not the case. Common comments were:
     “What are you reading?” 
     “Is that book any good?”
     “I liked the movie better.”
     “I read that; the woman’s uncle was the murderer.”
     One morning I opened my briefcase to pull out a new action adventure, but in my haste I’d accidentally grabbed our dusty copy of the Bible.  
      As an art history enthusiast, I was familiar with most of the stories, thanks to great painters’ fascination with the Bible, but in truth I’d never actually read it. With nothing else to occupy me, I began to do so. I started with the beginning…literally.
     Halfway to work I looked up and noticed something odd. The bus, as usual, was filled to capacity but the seat beside me remained vacant. I watched as additional passengers clamored aboard, eying the empty seat beside me but looking warily at the book in my hand before moving to the back of the bus, where they preferred to stand.
     This went on for several weeks. I assumed my fellow passengers were afraid I'd look up from my Bible and start quoting scriptures at them. So long as that Bible was in my hands or on my lap I was spared being disturbed by someone sitting down beside me. No one prattled in my ear or made my eyes water with their perfume. No one said I resembled a person who owed them money. 
     No wonder they call it “The Good Book!” 


Thursday, September 29, 2011

Other Than The Old Broad, What Else Did He Include?

   


     Whistler’s famous portrait of his mother is an American icon, but how many items can you name in the picture other than Whistler’s dear old mom? There’s only a few of them. Spoiler Alert: Answers below:
                                   *
                                   *
                                   *
                                   *
                                   *
                                   *
                                   *
Here are the answers: 
     
     Curtain
     Two pictures on the wall 
     Rug
     Lace handkerchief in her hands
     Footstool
   *Chair
     
     So how did you do? Give yourself a pat on the back if you did not identify it as a rocking chair. Most people do.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

This Blows

          

    No joke; someone just gave me a box filled with a hundred new whistles. The reason I received them is complicated and might serve as a future post, but for now I only want to say that they’re really nice whistles and I need to find a way to put them to use. It would be a shame to let them go to waste, so I’m soliciting ideas for what to do with them. I know that some of you are thinking of a place where I could shove these things, but enough sound already comes out of that area. Besides, that would only take care of a dozen or so and I need to get rid of the entire box. 
     Can someone out there come up with a creative idea for these whistles?