Wednesday, September 28, 2011

This Blows


    No joke; someone just gave me a box filled with a hundred new whistles. The reason I received them is complicated and might serve as a future post, but for now I only want to say that they’re really nice whistles and I need to find a way to put them to use. It would be a shame to let them go to waste, so I’m soliciting ideas for what to do with them. I know that some of you are thinking of a place where I could shove these things, but enough sound already comes out of that area. Besides, that would only take care of a dozen or so and I need to get rid of the entire box. 
     Can someone out there come up with a creative idea for these whistles?


  1. Well now I'm curious. But you could donate them to a Woman's Shelter or a Boys/Girls Group. I think of the safety factor when it comes to whistles. Blow for help!

  2. This Christmas send out those mildly annoying Christmas cards you get from distant relatives you don't really know, but attach a whistle to each one. Give no explanation for the whistle and when people ask why you did it, pull out the whistle you kept, and blow it in their face. Then change the subject.

  3. Glad you asked.

    I have my phone numbers on the Do Not Call list and my cell phone on the Do Not Call Under Threat of Death list. And yet, I still get calls from salespeople. When they get on my nerves and refuse to apologize and refuse to promise to never call me again, the conversation goes like this:

    "Please remove me immediately from your list. I'm on a Do Not Call list, ya know"

    "Be happy to, ma'am, but remember, it takes up to 10 business days to get your name off of our list, so I can't guarantee you won't be called again."

    "OK then, that's fine. But you might want to put a little note next to my name on your list that says that if you or any of your coworkers call me again, I'm going to blow my son's lifeguard whistle as loudly as I can, into the phone."

    There's nothing illegal about blowing a whistle really loud into the phone. I checked.

    So my suggestion for your whistles are to put them next to all of your phones. It's almost disappointing when they never call back . . .