Taft's Tub

Some stories are stuck in the public’s consciousness and can’t be dislodged by logic or evidence to the contrary, such as the story of how Catherine the Great died. It has been rumored for centuries that she perished in an equestrian accident, a polite way of saying that this regal nymphomaniac died while trying to copulate with a stallion suspended above her bed from a crane. According to legend, the chain broke and crushed the czarina to death. While this is fun to envision, it never happened. Catherine died in a much more boring manner, in her own bed after suffering a stroke—alone.

But I’m not here to talk about Catherine the Great; as a fat man I’m here to defend someone who isn’t able to defend himself, the twenty-seventh President of the United States—William Howard Taft. I’m sure you’ve heard stories of how fat he was, so fat that he broke the White House bathtub while struggling to get out of it.

Let’s set the record straight: William Howard Taft did not break a bathtub; he got stuck in one, and it took four men to get him out. They used a gallon of butter and the tub did not break. Unfortunately for Taft, reporters were present when the tub was dismantled and accidentally dropped while being taken out of the White House. They were responsible for creating the lie that Taft had broken it. Now you know the truth. Taft may have been our most portly president, but he was considered a great dancer, a good tennis player and an average golfer.

Click (Here) for one of the first stories I posted at Chubby Chatterbox, Revenge of the Claw Foot Tub. I didn’t have any followers back then and my story received zero comments.

PS: Sorry I couldn’t find a fanciful illustration of Catherine’s death. Taft’s tub will have

to do.