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Monday, July 9, 2012

In Defense Of The Nap


Yogi Berra once said, “I take a two hour nap from one to four.” Funny, but naps have gotten a bad rap lately, only appreciated by exhausted moms desperate for a break from fussy babies, or kindergarten teachers praying for an after-lunch moment of quiet.


I love naps. But one afternoon I neglected to close the bedroom door and was awakened by the sound of Mrs. Chatterbox talking to our son, CJ. In response to his questions I heard her say, “Dad? He’s taking a nap….No, he isn’t sick….Really, there isn’t anything wrong with him; he just likes to take naps.”


Another time my mother called after I’d dozed off. When I woke and came downstairs Mrs. C. said, “Your mother called and wanted to know where you were.”


“Did you tell her I was taking a nap?”


“I told her you’d gone on an errand.”


“Why didn’t you tell her the truth?”


“It was the middle of the day. I didn’t want her worrying about you.”


“Is that the real reason? Are you ashamed that I enjoy an afternoon nap?” I asked.


I was prepared to remind her that I usually rise early to go swimming and generally stay awake much later than she does in the evening, and I was shamefully eager to remind her that she often falls asleep on the couch during the afternoons. She was too smart to answer, but she’d clearly given her answer.


I was prompted to ask friends and acquaintances about their napping habits. You’d have thought I’d asked a roomful of guys to raise a hand if they had a small penis. I was treated to snickers and eye-rolling, and it was suggested that I should have my testosterone level checked, as if naps were somehow unmanly. No one would admit to taking regular afternoon snoozes, not even the wizened men I swim with.


I began wondering if I belonged to a little discussed minority—closet nappers—perhaps the last bastion of acceptable prejudice. I reflected on popular sayings that maligned me and my fellow nappers, such as the shame associated with being caught napping on the job. The media delights to show us disturbing pictures of Congressmen napping in the House Chamber, or Senators dozing off at hearings. And God help the pilot unnecessarily criticized for falling asleep at the controls, or the poor bus driver who decides to catch a few winks while driving a load of screaming kids home from school. Even someone as esteemed as Oliver Wendell Holmes demeaned himself by writing, “I don’t generally feel anything until noon, then it’s time for my nap.”


After much consideration I’ve decided to make a significant change in my life. In the afternoons I will not longer be taking naps. Naps are bad. They indicate laziness and sloth. Instead, I will endorse a less condemned pursuit. From this point forward I will partake of a revered activity endorsed by many cultures around the world. Instead of a nap, I will be taking a two hour afternoon siesta.


Please don’t call between one and four.

52 comments:

  1. They gave you Snickers??
    Sweet.
    Skittles would be okay, too.

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  2. I am an unashamed napper. It's not age related. I have always done it. Mind you I am a night owl too. Have you noticed how visitors always turn up when you take a nap?

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  3. LOL Are you sure you're not hiding the fact that you're actually sick. Moms and wives are never ever ever wrong :)

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  4. I don't mind admitting to taking naps. Besides, there's plenty of evidence.

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  5. I used to know people who believed in what they called "power naps". They would doze for a half hour and swear they had energy as if they had slept a few hours. I was always the kind of person that if I relaxed that much during the day to fall asleep, I woke up groggy and remained slightly disoriented until I went to bed at night. Naps did not work for me. But now that I am old(er), I let things happen naturally. I don't have a set time to rise, I don't use an alarm clock, I am no longer working, and I am free to sleep till 6 or 8 but I am a morning person so I am always up by 8. If I find myself feeling drowsy in the afternoon, I don't look at a clock to decide if I want to sleep. I just go lie down. And sleep till I wake. What a life.

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  6. I don't really like taking naps. It generally screws with my whole time sense, so I'll end up thinking it should be earlier than it is. I'd rather just go to bed earlier, though then I usually wake up earlier so the whole thing ends up a moot point. A couple times though I had epic naps, where I feel asleep at 8-9sih for "just a few minutes" and then woke up around 1am, at which point I would get up to lock the door and turn out all the lights before going back to bed.

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  7. naps are a good thing, for everyone but me. waking up once a day is more than enough for me.

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  8. I don't nap because I like to go to bed so tired that I'm asleep before my head hits the pillow. Sunday afternoons, however, are a different story. Sunday afternoons were made for naps--and fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies.

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  9. I once asked my Grandpa why he always took naps. He said, "Never fight sleep - sleep is your friend."
    I wasn't quite sure what he meant, or if he even answered my question at all - but I've been a proud napper ever since.

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  10. I am of the opinion that those who take naps are wise, wonderful, witty and participate better in after dinner discussions. But folks who siesta are just plain more fun. So rather than being an either or person, I nap, I siesta, I enjoy my rest. And stay up late and have dessert before dinner sometimes. Why not? Who says, they're not the boss of me anyway. Oma Linda

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  11. The scientific research says nap. The culture says only the lazy need to sleep at all.

    No wonder we are so cranky. None of us get enough sleep.

    Enjoy your siesta.

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  12. My husband takes a nap nearly every afternoon, and I've been known to take one on occasion! No anti-nap sentiment here!

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  13. I think perhaps I do take an afternoon nap every now and then, only with my eyes open and my body fully functioning.

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  14. I rarely take a nap or siesta. Rarely. It messes me up beyond belief and then I'm up half the night. No likey. I'm glad you are called your naps siestas now.

    Have a terrific day. :)

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  15. haha this is really funny--i think it is a dirty little secret some people keep--happy siesta :)

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  16. I wake up very early and go to bed pretty late at night, and I have to admit that every time I get near the computer in the afternoon I doze off and hit my head on the keyboard. Being the macho man I am (cough, cough) I torture myself all afternoon fighting my tiredness rather than taking a short nap. Now if I lived in France or Italy I could have a nice guilt free sleep.

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  17. Good for you. If you want to take a nap, take a nap. I don't equate napping with being less manly. Crazy, that anyone would make that leap.

    I rarely take a nap but when I do, a 20 minute nap revives me. I am all for siestas.

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  18. I think we might be in that same group of "closet nappers," because I also enjoy my fair share of afternoon naps. However, in my case, not a lot of people realize I've even taken a nap. That is, unless they call me. It sucks a bit being a light sleeper during an afternoon nap.

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  19. Naps are like snacks. If you're hungry between meals, munch on something. If you're tired between sleeps, doze off for a while.

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  20. Calvin Coolidge took a nap every afternoon in the White House, answered his own telephone, and the government was in the black. Nuff said.

    Love,
    Janie

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  21. Siesta is perfect. But maybe you can tell people you are doing research. When a friend, a former network news executive and later college prof, retired he told his friends at the farewell party he had read that naps are good for you. So he told them not to call between 12-2 each day because he would be busy in the lab, researching the benefits of a nap.

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  22. I've been known to carefully examine the inside of my eyelids on occasion. ;)

    S

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  23. I love naps!! I could add about 20+ more exclamation marks and not be overstating here...young kids or not, they are just the way to go. But yes, if we have to call it a siesta to make it more socially acceptable (at least in some cultures), so be it. Just give me my bed post-lunch!

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  24. My dad denied napping, even when caught in the middle of a snore. He would startle like a newborn, throwing out his arms reflexively, as if his recliner had dumped him over a cliff. "I'm just resting my eyes," he'd say. "Just resting my eyes."

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  25. I'm a proud siesta-er myself. It's the culturally-correct thing to do, right?

    xoRobyn

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  26. When it comes to naps, I came out of the closet years ago. As a matter of fact, I so take back all those times when I didn't want to take a nap as a two-year old!

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  27. You almost had me at full rant when you said you'stop afternoon naps. I agree siesta sounds better. I don't nap but I have in the past and found it a very beneficial activity. Like you I got up earlier and stayed up later. I just generally felt better.

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  28. *yawn*

    I don't nap.

    *yawn, yawn*

    Nor do I intend to.

    Ever.

    *yawn*

    hee hee hee

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  29. My mother had such a hard time getting me to nap as a small child. I still rarely take a nap. But when I was teaching, I would run off the road driving home at about 3:30. I should have napped before driving. My husband is a great napping and I think it will lengthen his life. So that's a good thing.

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  30. Napping is vastly unappreciated by the corporate world. Yet scientific studies suggest 10 to 30 minute naps improve performance. I have yet to master napping (lol)!

    As a deep sleeper and night hawk, my Deep Afternoon Meditation (DAM) sessions can last 1.5 to 4 hours. I like to think of my DAM sessions as Performance Enhancing Times (PET).

    In closing, I think everyone should adopt DAM PET sessions.

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  31. I was going to tell you about my siestas but two hours seems a bit much!

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  32. Sadly the only quote that I know from Yogi Berra is "Hey, hey, hey Boo-Boo!".

    As for nap's ... I very rarely have a midday sno... zzzzZZZZ ZZZZzzz zzzZZZZ

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  33. All this talk about naps -- I think I need one -- NOW!

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  34. Afternoon naps are also known as "power naps" as they re-energize us for work that's waiting for us on the second half of the day. But a couple of hours nap? Uhmm, don't know about that. So maybe yes, siesta will be a much better word. Haha!!

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  35. Geez...no matter how exhausted I feel and no matter how long I lay back on my bed; I never fall asleep in the afternoons. Actually, I sleep at 4 in the morning and wake up in at 12 midnoon. So techincally sleeping, my body is accustomed to manipulating the day-hours as my mornings.

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  36. Siestas are so much more sophisticated, don't you think?

    If I had my druthers, I'd squeeze a nap into my day. Unfortunately, I work from 7:00 to 4:30, and they pay me an hourly wage...

    Pearl

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  37. Hey...very nice brand of humor you've got here. Most of my day spent in office doing my day job, I can only find time for nine odd power naps. I'll keep reading your blog, especially now that I'm a follower here. Would greatly appreciate you following my blog www.godofabsurdity.net if you like it. Hope to blend in to the humor blogging network. :)

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  38. Now that I'm forty, I really appreciate a siesta. Middle age takes a lot out of a person as everything sloooowwwsss down. It's harder than it used to be for me to keep my energy up. A balanced diet, plenty of sleep, and keeping a handle on my weight would all contribute to being able to keep my energy up.

    I've been sick this weekend and the throat infection lingers. I'm certainly sleeping a LOT more than I'm used to. But I think that's the way my body is choosing to fight this thing...through sleeping a lot.

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  39. Never been one for a nap - I must be an alpha male! I am typically in bed by 9.45 pm though.

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  40. Too funny...I am not a napper but my hubby wouldn't be "normal" if he didn't get at least two of them a day...there's the morning nap after he drinks his protein drink after the workout, then theres the afternoon "accidental nap" that occurs while watching to kick boxers beat the crap out of each other...then theres the familiar 'I'm not ready for bed I'll just shut my eyes while we are watching this engaging movie after dinner' nap. I say enjoy your siesta and be thankful you are alive!!

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  41. When I was working they were called power naps, now retired they are pensioners anps

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  42. My dad always dozed off in a chair after work when we were kids and slept till we woke him up for dinner. He was also known to lie down for a quick snooze on the weekend afternoons. I've never been a napper, but I hope I have to prejudices against them. I may turn into one at some point as it does run in my family. ;)

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  43. They are called POWER NAPS...where the rich and beautiful and famous can regroup.

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  44. I rarely nap. Although sometimes there is nothing better than a relaxing siesta! LOL!! Well done Stephen!

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  45. I never ever ever nap. My ex-husband fell asleep once while eating with his fork halfway to his mouth. I took lots of pictures. His mouth was open and everything. He would fall asleep standing up and sometimes I would tip him over hehe.

    Enjoy your siestas!

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  46. No No Naps are Good. That's just napguilt. Ignore it. They're jealous.

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  47. I consider naps essential luxuries. So does MY WIFE. And if she didn't, she wouldn't be MY WIFE. I'm sure she feels similarly concerning my husbandly status. We nap, we enjoy it, and we don't give a damn who knows it. Let other people be grouchy and sleep-deprived in their efforts to look "normal". We are well-rested and proud of it!

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  48. I'm too lazy to take a nap. In my view, it's WORK to get to sleep, and more work to wake up. So I only do each one, once a day.

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  49. I nap therefore I am! I must have a nap everyday or I will be labeled as, "Bad Mommy."
    http://thesexysinglemommy.blogspot.com/

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