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Sunday, September 9, 2012

Flying Without A Net

Last night I did something in bed I haven’t done in years. I was contentedly lying there, dreaming I was King of Bloggers and had finally figured out the difference between further and farther, and a while and awhile, when it happened. Mrs. Chatterbox was on the far side of our king-size bed and in no position to monitor what was going on. That’s when it happened. I felt ashamed when it was over. I mean, I’m not a kid anymore and this sort of thing doesn’t happen to grown men, even men with bladders shrunken to the size of peanuts and requiring frequent trips to the bathroom.


Okay, I’ve let you entertain prurient thoughts long enough. I didn’t abuse myself or have a nocturnal accident last night. I rolled out of bed and landed with an unceremonious thump on the floor. Mrs. Chatterbox bolted from dead sleep and asked, “What was that? Are you alright?”


I scratched my head and tried to focus on the strange viewpoint of our darkened bedroom. The perspective was that of a mouse and I felt tiny and insignificant. The heap of decorative pillows tossed aside when we turned down the bed appeared massive, my discarded shoes menacing with their snake-like laces. I briefly felt like Alice in Wonderland and half expected to see the insolent grin of the Cheshire cat glowing in the darkened window.


“Are you alright?” Mrs. C. repeated.


“Yes. I…I guess I rolled out of bed,” I answered, returning to my tangle of sheets and repositioning my pillow.


She gave me a kiss on the cheek.

I lay there for several minutes, until a thought caught like a bramble on the sweater of

my memory. I was a little boy in baggy pajamas spending a Saturday night at Grandma and Grandpa’s house. I remember it well: the room off the kitchen was small, the bed so big it brushed against one of the walls. Grandma would hear my prayers and tuck me in. After she left, Grandpa would arrive, his shape a stocky silhouette in the light-filled doorway.


“Have you been a good boy today?” he’d ask, the rumpled fedora he always wore pushed back on his bald head.


I would nod and he’d place two bits in my hand. “Go to sleep now,” he’d say, pushing the bedroom door closed, careful to leave it open just a crack so I wouldn’t be thrown into total darkness.


I’d hear the TV click on and Grandpa’s joints would crackle and pop like my favorite cereal as he sank into his living room armchair. Before long the theme from Perry Mason would hum on the TV. As Perry began his defense, the door to my bedroom would open wider. Grandma would be standing there, silently listening to me breathe, a chair from the kitchen table in her hands. Worried I’d roll out of the big iron bed, she’d sneak into the bedroom and place two chairs against the side of the bed so I’d roll into them instead of falling to the floor. I always pretended to be asleep when Grandma came with her chairs; her gesture to keep me safe always made me feel warm and loved.


Once when the circus came to town, Grandma and Grandpa took me to see flying acrobats soaring through the air, spinning between trapezes a hundred feet above the ground. My enjoyment was marred by thoughts of what might happen if they fell. Grandpa told me not to worry. “That’s what the net is for—to catch them so they won’t get hurt.” I hadn’t noticed the net and enjoyed the acrobats much more knowing it was there.


But last night there were no chairs to keep me from rolling out of bed and falling to the floor. I guess being an adult meant working life’s trapeze without a net. But I was wrong. Mrs. C. couldn’t have picked a better time to reach over and squeeze my hand. She snuggled her head on my chest.


The truth; I’m a lucky man—I’ve never been without a net.



38 comments:

  1. How totally sweet. I know men don't think that way, but the story was very nostalgic and sweet. You are indeed a lucky man.

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  2. I am restraining myself from making a wise ass comment and mearly saying "I get it, this is a very lovely story and metaphor."

    I do feel a little gay now but so what.

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  3. This was perfect. What more can I say. :):)

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  4. You are a wise man for recognizing the treasures you have. Good on you!

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  5. Well, dang, this made me sniffle. I do so like your use of words; references to your favorite cereal, working life's trapeze without a net, and more. Without any way to compare childhood stories, it is fun to hear about time with grandparents. I crave stories from my friends about their family times when they were growing up. Same with your stories.

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  6. You have the most awesome family. That your grandparents took such good care of you has to be in part why you are such a nice man.

    Very sweet of Mrs. Chatterbox...you, indeed, have a net. Isn't that one of the best parts of being in a family...taking care of each other.

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  7. Wow I've never ever fallen out of bed. Now I feel I've missed out on something special. :)

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  8. My husband, who is 80, recently fell out of bed twice--it can be SCARY!!

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  9. i like your grandma.
    i also loved the line, "caught like a bramble on the sweater of
    my memory."

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  10. I hate rolling out of the bed. I tend to sleep near the edge of the bed, so I have rolled out a few times. At first you are dazed and confused and then once you realize what you have done, a bit embarrassed. Especially when you realize that you are sleeping in a king size bed and should have plenty of room. Not to mention the bedside table just waiting for my head on as I tumble out.

    I do love your references in the story. "Working life's trapeze without a net", I think we all have had that feeling at times.

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  11. "Working life's trapeze without a net" - what a great line to sum-up adult life.

    A heart-warming story.

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  12. Aww.....falling on the floor aside, that was beautiful......

    Made me recall my Uncle Herman who would do the same thing when he would visit.
    A 50 cent piece and a nod good night. "Pa's gotta go now." he always said.

    Well, dang. Now you made me cry.

    You really *are* the King of Bloggers. ;)

    Have a wonderful day!

    Mimi

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  13. It's amazing how someone with so much sleeping experience can still make that kind of mistake.

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  14. Excellent my friend, I really enjoyed this one, you are a wise man.

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  15. Here's to nets all over, no matter what shape or appearance they present!

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  16. And that is just how life should be. Loved this~

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  17. This was a lovely read. You are lucky indeed.

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  18. Yes, many of us are lucky to have our own personal safety net. Great story, Steve. ;)

    S

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  19. Ah so sweet. I'm lucky in that way too.

    I hope your floor has a rug on it; if not I imagine it would actually hurt to land on it:)

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  20. Awww...that was a sweet post indeed.

    Have a terrific day. :)

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  21. Yes, a nice post. And now you not only have the net you have the Net!

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  22. I guess that's why my grandma always made a pallet on the floor for us grandkids. Right next to the baseboard heater where she found the giant black snake.

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  23. That was so sweet! I love the memories of your grandparents, and the fact that you realize that your wife is your safety net. Beautiful!

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  24. Awww that's adorable! Glad you didn't injure yourself!

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  25. So we're all pretty fragile and need a net or in your case a blanky. Maybe with the treatment from Mrs. chatter you'll fall out of bed more often.

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  26. What a lovely post. I've fallen out of bed once that I remember - boy is that a disorienting experience!

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  27. Glad the two of your have each other's backs.

    Your grandparents sound a lot like mine, and your story brought back some good memories, thank you.

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  28. Very sweet. I fear that when my hubby rolled out of bed a few weeks ago I might have snickered. Or snorted. Not in a mean way, of course.

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  29. Cherish your blessings and who cares if you roll out of bed. Unless the dog or cat is lying in the way :)

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  30. That net comes in various guises and we are so blessed when we recognize them. Great story.

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  31. You just made my heart smile. What a great tale.

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  32. Wow, that was an incredible story! I loved the metaphor!

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  33. Hmm, you might have a net, but perhaps start putting those decorative pillows on the floor next to your side.

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  34. Very sweet. I just randomly fell out of bed a few years ago. I don't know what caused it.

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  35. Stephen: What a story! A fraternity brother of mine in college fell off his top bunk early in the morning. He had strategically positioned two chairs to land on, but missed! He insisted that this killed his arches! I never knew if that was a temporary or permanent situation. But you reminded me of a very funny story, and this was another great post I enjoyed! :)

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  36. You weave fantastic stories. I know I check your blog out infrequently, but I'm always glad when I do. Thank you.

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  37. love for another is giving them a forever safety net

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