Mrs. Chatterbox and I just finished
watching The Avengers and I have two
questions:
#1 Why is it that if I eat one taco too many the button
on my waistband shoots from my pants with enough velocity to put out an eye,
yet the Hulk can expand ten times his normal size without his pants ripping to
shreds?
#2 Where can I buy these pants?
They must be magic pants! I think in real life the pants would tear to shreds but for the sake of modesty he has to keep his pants on.
ReplyDeleteContact the local branch of Motion Picture/Television Board of Censors
ReplyDeleteHow does he also defy the laws of gravity. Bring back the TV hulk.
ReplyDeleteGot this one Chubby, but not your previous post.
cranky
If you can find out a source for these pants and market them, I'm thinking you two will be the next multi-billionaires~
ReplyDelete#1 - he's got a skinny butt.
ReplyDeleteIn the movies you can do many wonderful things that are impossible in real life. That's why.
ReplyDeleteHave a terrific day. :)
Twice in my life, I've worn pants designed for this type of thing. They're readily available in most department stores. In the maternity section. ;)
ReplyDeleteHe does not buy cotton. It breathes but doesn't stretch. Must be some space age plastic fabric. His shirt bill must be phenomenal.
ReplyDeleteJust one word--SPANDEX!
ReplyDeleteHi Stephen. I've often wondered about the hulks pants as well. I think that they only come in purple though, because that's the only colour he seems to wear? He'd probably also have to have remarkable expanding tighty whiteys too? Or maybe....that's why he's so angry?
ReplyDeleteHey! We just watched the Avengers last night too! Loved it! My teenage girls have been oohing and aahing ever since over Captain America and Tony Stark. "Puh-leeaase!!!" I tell them! "Thor is the man!!" So with those three in the picture, who cares about the Hulk's pants? :)
ReplyDeletesuper strenght elastic? what a hilarious posting- and good questions! A lot of us have similar queries about some babes clothing- like "How did she get into that" and "How can she even bend over let alone use the bathroom"?
ReplyDeleteI need some of those pants too :)
ReplyDeleteThis is an easy question to answer if your a comic nerd like me. As Mr. Fantastic of the Fantastic Four would explain, "Unstable molecules!" You win a Marvel "no-prize".
ReplyDeleteI often wondered why he never ripped out those pants myself!
ReplyDelete(Yay! I was able to read your post today!)
Ang Lee wanted to have the Hulk run around nude because of this very question. The pants come from the "censors." Marvel Entertainment and movie producers/directors have long contended that the Hulk would be naked. However, because a big green penis in your face is not something people will purchase, the pants are their version of a "censor." I think it works out better than a black bar or fuzzy spot floating over the man's junk.
ReplyDeleteI'm with fishducky....it's gotta be spandex.
ReplyDeleteS
Hilary: hahaha! Maternity pants are so damn ugly but they do the trick!
ReplyDeleteROFLMAO!!! I've wondered about that since the Hulk was a TV show! ;)
ReplyDeleteYou are too funny, the answer is ......get pants with lots of Spandex!
ReplyDeleteWhen you find some, let me know where -- my Sweetie could use them, too.
ReplyDeleteWhen you eat one taco to many, it is probably just gas making your belly expand.... and as far as the pants, they are called stretch pants and women have been wearing them for years.
ReplyDeleteMaybe it's because he has massive biceps and a tiny willy!
ReplyDeleteWhen you find a place to purchase the pants, please let me know. I have similar problems.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Janie
Oh good, I got this post! My son used to have a pair of pants that fit him from the age of 6 months to about 3 years. We called them wonder pants. It must be the same manufacturer.
ReplyDeleteThis is awesome. Better still, the mental visual of a button launching across the living room and pinging against the flatscreen.
ReplyDeleteYes - finally I can see a post again (not your previous ones, though)!
ReplyDeleteI can explain the pants: I bet in the original version, there were no pants. When women started fainting/swooning/gasping at the sight of the green penis expanding to ten times its normal size during the test market showing, the male movie executives quickly decided to cover up the lower body parts. The pants were added in digitally before the general release, with extra pixels for size added as necessary. :-p
Those are some magical pants all right.
ReplyDelete:-)
Pearl
*like* :)
ReplyDeleteHe's buying his pants in ladies dept. at Macys. They don't have buttons just elastic waist bands.
ReplyDeleteYou could just buy sweats but I have to warn you that Mrs. Chatterbox might not think either are all that attractive.
Are you going to ask him? Hulk smash!
ReplyDeleteHey Stephen! For once I can see your blog and leave a comment. Persistence!
ReplyDeletejajajjajaj
ReplyDeleteI've always wondered the same. They rip at the bottom, but the waist holds. They don't even come unbuttoned.
ReplyDeleteYIP! Where are those pants, or does his waist stay the same size?
ReplyDeleteVery good point Stephen, perhaps it is because he turns green? Now if you turned green when eating Tacos what would happen...............
ReplyDeleteWell he's just a typical muscle man, massive biceps, small stomach! Something I can dream of having!
ReplyDeleteYeah, I used to have the same sort of questions. Even more important (haven't seen the movie, so I'm talking about the comic books) how come when he changes back into Bruce Banner his pants aren't so stretched out of shape that they fall off?
ReplyDeleteHey Stephen, We watched this one with the Kids, I can say I never thought of the pant situation, the shirt has a tendency to come apart but not the pants, some sort of stretchy material for the pants I am thinking, with strong buttons of course :)
ReplyDeleteHave you ever seen those book covers that are infinitely stretchy and impossible to tear? I think it's made out of that stuff.
ReplyDeleteI often remove my pants before eating...then the restaurants ask me to leave. I thought they were all about making their guests comfortable?
ReplyDeleteif you find them, let me know where you find them. Thanksgiving is coming up after all
ReplyDeleteYou're a riot, Stephen! Thanks for commenting on my blog, and I'm glad you're just writing what you want to. Contentment is important. :-)
ReplyDeleteYou know, if you CAN expand ten times in your pantsular region, you could probably totally rock the Spandex.
ReplyDeleteto be fair, Hulk is bezzie mates with Thor - and if a Norse God can't arrange for a pair of trousers to remain in place then all I can say is those endless feasts in Valhalla must contain a hell of a lot of naked people
ReplyDeleteWhen you make your trip to India, you'll notice a large number of travelers wearing pants that could easily fit an elephant, allowing one to expand and contract one's waistline as one pleases. I suppose it makes sense in a country where you can spend one day gorging yourself on delicious food and the next day losing half your body weight in a filthy bathroom.
ReplyDeletehee hee, ha ha ha ha ha ha
ReplyDelete....that's all.
Good tacos are worth every lost button. Thanks for the encouragement, it means a lot!
ReplyDeleteThis I don't know. I have wondered the same thing about the Hulk. Have yet to see The Avengers, and this post reminded me I really want to. And I agree with Kelly above--eat up on those tacos ;)
ReplyDeleteHahahaha! Brought a chuckle out of me, Stephen.
ReplyDeletespandex and cgi are wonderful things!
ReplyDeleteHaven't seen The Avengers, but this post still makes me laugh! :D)
ReplyDeleteFunny that I run across this post right after I put the Avengers in the DVD player. Seriously, the previews are playing on my TV as I type this.
ReplyDeleteAs far as his pants, if you find them, you must share the secret. And my wife wants to know if they come in girl sizes too.
Now this is one case where bein' a woman has its advantage. After eatin' tacos, ya don't wanna be in a pair of pants, cause ya don't have time to fiddle with buttons. Ya just lift up your skirt and pity the fool sittin' next to ya in the nearest bathroom stall.
ReplyDeleteI once saw a "healthy" woman at a high school football game eating a cinderblock full of nachos. When she was done, her stomach just magically slithered over the top of her pants. They didn't rip and the buttons didn't pop off. Instead, she had trained her belly to move right over the top of her pants and hang to the side. Kind of like a fat dog stretching out on the rug. It was really quite amazing.
ReplyDeleteIf I ever see her again, I can ask her how she managed to train her gut to move on its own, over the top of her pants, and hang comfortably.