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Friday, August 10, 2012

Conclusion: The Goblin Under The Palm Tree


The bright sun shot splinters into my brain as I crossed the driveway and headed across the street. That was when I noticed another of the creatures. And another. I stopped in the middle of the street and counted six of them. All were old and wrinkled. They went about their business, ignoring me while I stood in the middle of the road. Some were gardening. Others sat on their front porches reading the morning paper.


A car approached and honked. I jumped out of the way like Wile E. Coyote avoiding a falling anvil. The vehicle pulled into the driveway of an apartment building several yards away. When the car door opened another of these creatures got out with a sack of groceries. The car must have been rigged to accommodate a tiny driver.


The little fellow pushing the lawnmower finally yelled, “Yous be foolish to be standing in zenter of street.” His voice was brittle with age and thick with a mysterious accent.


The sparse strands of white hair sprouting from his head failed to cover the numerous liver spots. He was wearing shorts and a Hawaiian shirt that must have been intended for a child. His teeth were few and yellowed with age but when he smiled he looked pleasant enough.


Deed you joust move een?”


“Y—yes,” I stammered. “With my roommate, Mel.”


I zee. Yous be college keeds, yes?” I nodded as he wiped sweat from his egg shaped head with the back of his hand. The tiny hand was covered in loose skin, but it had five fingers and looked human enough. The day wasn’t particularly hot but it must have taken effort for someone so tiny to mow even a small lawn. “I zink I zeem strange to yous, yes?”


I nodded and shook his hand when it was offered, as did Mel who’d crossed the street to join us. The little man introduce himself. “I called Yabba, like cartoon wiff zee Flintstonez. Yabba Dabba Doo. No Dabba Doo, just Yabba. This no real name but do jez fine.”


“Nice to meet you, Yabba. Excuse me, but are you a midget?” I asked.


His forehead creased like a fan and he looked like he’d just sucked on a pickle. “Once part of Zinger midgets, but Yabba and others (he indicated the others like him with a tilt of his head) no more like to be called midget. Now we like be called ‘Little Peeple.’”


“Sorry,” I apologized. “I didn’t mean to offend you. Have you lived here long?”


“Come here in ’38 for zee big moovie. Me work on zee big movie zeven weeks and no want to go home later. Many stay at Culver Hootel til need leave. We moove here and stay. Be happy here.”


What big movie are you talking about?” Mel asked.


Yabba looked at him like he had a third eye in the middle of his forehead. “What you mean what big moovie? Only one big moovie known by everyone. Weezard oof Oz, oof course!”


The fog was starting to clear. These tiny folks must have been part of the famous Singer Midgets, recruited from around the world to play the munchkins in the Wizard of Oz, filmed back in 1938 at MGM Studios right here in Culver City. I’d learned about them in a UCLA film class. I wondered where this little guy was born—his voice was high-pitched but the accent reminded me of Bela Lugosi. The Balkans?


“I mow lawn in front your apartment and owner zay okay use pool, but long time zince Yabba take plunge.”


I hadn’t noticed the manicured strip of grass in front of our apartment, but the thought of seeing this little gnome in a wet swimsuit made me shiver.


In weeks to come I discovered that the other neighborhood munchkins weren’t as outgoing as Yabba and kept to themselves. Yabba explained why he’d been watching us that night. “Me hav zee insomnia. Like zound oof young peoples having fun.”


Our friendship was sealed when Yabba arrived during one of our late-night pool parties and pulled a fat joint from the pocket of his Hawaiian shirt. He lit it, inhaled deeply, then passed it around.


“Most of we little peeple be straight arrowz,” he informed us, “but Yabba be a partying munchkin.”


Note: On the slim chance that the Statute of Limitations has not expired on my youthful indiscretions, the author wants it known that he would never endorse or promote the use of recreational drugs of any kind.

33 comments:

  1. Yabba be a partying munchkin. We could all learn something from his example.

    That's amazing. I love the idea that they didn't want to go home, so they just stuck around and formed a small community. By small, I don't mean height wise, I mean, oh god...

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  2. Well I think if Bill Clinton could admit to smoking pot then you can too. Sad to think most of those Munchkins are dead now, but the next time I see that movie I'll be thinking of them in Hawaiian shirts smoking joints.

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  3. Hobnobbing with movie stars! What other secrets have you been keeping?

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  4. Barack be snorting some coke when he was younger, so you're good.
    Aren't all the munchkins dead now?
    Like the passing of Davy Jones, Andy Griffith, and Sherman Helmsly, this makes me sad.
    I hope there's a yellow brick road to heaven.

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  5. Fun story. It is always great meeting really interesting people.

    BTW, Wile E. Coyote never dodged an anvil.

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  6. Great story Stephen and what a cracker!

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  7. Oh, those partying muchkins... never know what they will bring to the table1

    Great story!

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  8. ha! oh my gosh! what a story!! fun to read!!!

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  9. Even i knew which movie right away, but you were hung over, of course.

    Glad to hear how some of them ended up, being allowed to stay.

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  10. I think that using drugs is a part of life, man. I don't trust a man that has never smoked pot (having smoked some myself). Those kinds of experiences (as many as we can get) add to the color and flavor of life and can increase the quality of our writing.

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  11. A pot smoking midget. Okay Little Person. I hadn't thought of them and a goblin. Great story.

    Have a terrific day. :)

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  12. As always, your stories are amazing. I have done a number of posts talking about the Wizard of Oz (as all Kansans are obligated by law to do) and you have actually met one of the cast members. Not everyone came claim to have partied with a Munchkin.

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  13. I knew it! Which I guess just makes me older than the rest of your readers. Smiles - A.

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  14. I was right! I suspected they were munchkins who had stayed in town. HA HA for me! Cool story. Did he ever tell you anything about being in the movie? If he did, please write a post about it.

    Love,
    Janie

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  15. Pull the other one,Stephen. You were hallucinating as a consequence of too many puffs of the whacky backy. And all this nonsense of the seven dwarfs - pure confabulation!

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  16. I love the story. You and Yabba did a doobie. Wonder what Yabba's real name was.

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  17. I especially enjoyed the disclaimer at the end--completely necessary, of course ;)

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  18. Yabba sounds like a most interesting fellow. I agree--if he told you any stories about being in the movie please tell us, too. :)

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  19. What a GREAT story! I read that all those munchkins ran rampant during the filming of the Wizard. Apparently they were extremely excited that so many little people were in one place at the same time!

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  20. good job. Did not see this coming! Is this true??

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  21. Hah - Munchkins! Two of them came to my son's school when he was in first or second grade. They had made an appearance at the local opera house (very local, very small). Who knows - maybe the same people you met.

    Did I read something once that Judy Garland in an interview many, many years after the movie was made complained about their behavior? They supposedly were ill-mannered, drunk, and acted a bit sleazy while working on the set. LOL.

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  22. Another great story. I wasn't sure how it was going to turn out after reading the first part, but was very pleased once I read the conclusion. Yabba sounds like quite a character and I bet he was a great neighbor. I would love to be part of making a movie. I have a friend that has been an extra in several as well as tv shows, it is a hoot seeing some of the clothing and hair styles she has toted to do so.

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  23. I was wondering if he was an Oompa Loompa, but it's even more fascinating that he was from the Wizard of Oz. And a partying munchkin too - it's the stuff good stories like this are made of.

    xoRobyn

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  24. Very cool. I have one (online) friend who drank with Janis Joplin. And now CC has smoked pot with a munchkin. Yabba Didda Doob...

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  25. Hey! I had coffee at John Wayne's house in Newport Beach with the Duke during an interview. No doobies, though.

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  26. G'day CC. Now that was one great story. Well done. Take care. Liz...

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  27. This is the first time I have visited your blog, and at first I thought you were writing a fictional story. I was having fun reading it and I realized this was an actual account of your life. I love it! I will definitely be back to read more.

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  28. hahahah they were Munchkins! What a story!

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  29. Oh Dude, you got to party with a munchkin! wow!

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  30. Its okay to inhale ... just dont exhale

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  31. "...would never endorse or promote the use of recreational drugs of any kind."

    I wouldn't even acknowlegde it.

    Joeh is right the coyote wasn't that quick.

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  32. You have been nominated for an award!! http://thesexysinglemommy.blogspot.com/2012/08/am-i-bomb-diggity-yes-i-am-guess-who.html

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