Switching Nationalities

  

My mother isn’t very happy with me since I refused to buy her a tube of hair removal cream so she could impress the young surgeon who operated on her a few weeks before Christmas. I visited her every day in the hospital and it didn’t bother her that she was starting to resemble Joseph Stalin, but enter good looking Dr. Fernando, who’s half my age, and Mom suddenly wants to look like Angelina Jolie.... Read the rest of my post (Here).

Note: This is the last day for the original Chubby Chatterbox. If you haven’t yet joined the new site because you aren’t pleased or familiar with Google+ or Networked Blogs, there’s a third widget that’s been added. All you need to do is submit your e-mail address on the blog page and then follow the simple instructions on a site called Blogtrottr. Be sure to add my NEW URL (chubbychatterbox.com) and not the old one  I’m told this is extremely uncomplicated and I hope some of you will give this a try and let me know how it works.

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Be Careful!

The NRA wants to arm everyone, so be careful out there.

Brontosaurus Ribs

  

I recently saw an online statistic claiming that more than seventy percent of American families enjoyed prime rib for Christmas dinner. At Chatterbox Manor we did not have prime rib for Christmas dinner; instead we opted for Honey Baked Ham.

     Years ago Mrs. Chatterbox decided to roast our first prime rib for Christmas shortly after we were married. We made a huge mistake...

Note: If you haven’t yet joined the new Chubby Chatterbox because you aren’t pleased or familiar with Google+ or Networked Blogs, there’s a third widget that’s been added to  Chubby Chatterbox. All you need to do is submit your e-mail address on the blog page and then follow the simple instructions on a site called Blogtrottr. Be sure to add my NEW URL (chubbychatterbox.com) and not the old one  I’m told this is extremely uncomplicated and I hope some of you will give this a try and let me know how it works.

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Peculiar Picture #20

  

 Another Christmas has come and gone and I’m sitting here staring at the tree and already thinking about the complicated process of taking it down, boxing up the delicate ornaments, folding up the tree skirt and all the other things that make our tree pretty. Mrs. Chatterbox once had a crazy aunt who one year took a piece of plywood, nailed roller skates to it and used it as a Christmas tree platform. The decorated tree was kept in the garage under a tarp and on December 1st she’d kick it in from the garage and roll it into position in the living room. A week after Christmas she’d roll it back to the garage and throw the tarp back over it. Mrs. Chatterbox’s crazy aunt is starting to seem like a genius.

Peculiar Picture #20

You can check out all of Peculiar Picture #20 here.

Note: If you haven’t yet joined the new Chubby Chatterbox because you aren’t pleased or familiar with Google+ or Networked Blogs, there’s a third widget that’s been added to ChubbyChatterbox. All you need to do is submit your e-mail address on the blog page and then follow the simple instructions on a site called Blogtrottr. Be sure to add my NEW URL (chubbychatterbox.com) and not the old one  I’m told this is extremely uncomplicated and I hope some of you will give this a try and let me know how it works.

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Her Last Christmas

 

Christmas is that time of year when the pull of my ethnic background is the strongest. Dad’s folks weren’t anything in particular but Mom’s parents were Portuguese and her side of the family always won the weird relative contest. Read just how weird it got here.

Note: If you haven’t yet joined the new Chubby Chatterbox because you aren’t pleased or familiar with Google+ or Networked Blogs, there’s a third widget that’s been added to ChubbyChatterbox. All you need to do is submit your e-mail address on the blog page and then follow the simple instructions on a site called Blogtrottr. Be sure to add my NEW URL (chubbychatterbox.com) and not the old one  I’m told this is extremely uncomplicated and I hope some of you will give this a try and let me know how it works.

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Lurking On Our Christmas Tree

I'd just poured myself a cup of hot chocolate and was settling down to enjoy our beautiful Christmas decorations (mostly the work of Mrs. Chatterbox) when my attention turned to the beautiful tree ornaments we’ve collected over the years. But wait a minute; two ornaments looks peculiar....

Note: If you haven’t yet joined the new Chubby Chatterbox because you aren’t pleased or familiar with Google+ or Networked Blogs, there’s a third widget that’s been added to ChubbyChatterbox. All you need to do is submit your e-mail address on the blog page and then follow the simple instructions on a site called Blogtrottr. Be sure to add my NEW URL (chubbychatterbox.com) and not the old one  I’m told this is extremely uncomplicated and I hope some of you will give this a try and let me know how it works.

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A Hard Mother to Please

  

Many of us were raised by hard to please parents; many of us are dealing with them still. Some consolation can be had in knowing that famous and powerful people also had similar problems, even someone as renowned as Napoleon Bonaparte. By most accounts Napoleon’s mother was hard to impress and not easy to get along with. Read about it here.

Note: If you haven’t yet joined the new Chubby Chatterbox because you aren’t pleased or familiar with Google+ or Networked Blogs, there’s a third widget that’s been added to Chubby Chatterbox. All you need to do is submit your e-mail address on the blog page and then follow the simple instructions on a site called Blogtrottr. Be sure to add my NEW URL (chubbychatterbox.com) and not the old one  I’m told this is extremely uncomplicated and I hope some of you will give this a try and let me know how it works.

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It Would Serve Me Right

 

A painting hangs in our dining room that might look familiar to many of you; it shows Claude Monet’s famous Japanese Bridge at Giverny. Monet painted a dozen versions of this bridge—all at different times of the day in an exploration of color and light—but he didn’t paint this one. I did, forty years ago. I say this not as a boast for having done a decent job of mimicking Monet’s style, but as a confession for a serious lack of judgment. Read about it here.

Note: If you haven’t yet joined the new Chubby Chatterbox because you aren’t pleased or familiar with Google+ or Networked Blogs, there’s a third widget that’s been added to Chubby Chatterbox. All you need to do is submit your e-mail address on the blog page and then follow the simple instructions on a site called Blogtrottr. I’m told this is extremely uncomplicated and I hope some of you will give this a try and let me know how it works.

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The Greatest Artist I've Ever Known

Grandma Chatterbox is finally home from the hospital and she’s progressing better than she wants to admit. Her surgery has left her weak and she needs assistance to maintain her apartment and independence. It’s fallen on me to find someone to help her. There are many good organizations to draw on and much of my time is currently being spent searching for a suitable individual who can put up with Mom’s idiosyncrasies. 

This hasn’t prevented my head from filling with fresh stories, but lately I haven’t had time to read many of your posts much less write new ones of my own. Hopefully my situation will soon return to normal. Until then, here’s another of my favorites….  

Confession

 

I confess that I’m not my cheery self this morning. I’m feeling a bit low lately. The Connecticut shootings are weighing heavily on my mind. What’s worse is that I’m having difficulty separating all of these shootings. They’re beginning to blur. We even had one here in Oregon a few days ago at the Clackamas Town Center not far from where I live....

More at Chubby Chatterbox.com 

The Running of the Grunion

  

Update: Grandma Chatterbox is still in the hospital after her surgery and will probably be released in a day or two. I’ve been busy trying to arrange home care for her and haven’t been able to write or respond to many of your posts. If you haven’t heard from me please know that I look forward to catching up with my reading as soon as I can. In the meantime, here’s one of my favorite posts from last year.  

Note: If you haven’t yet joined the new Chubby Chatterbox because you aren’t pleased or familiar with Google+ or Networked Blogs, there’s a third widget that’s been added to Chubby Chatterbox. All you need to do is submit your e-mail address on the blog page and then follow the simple instructions on a site called Blogtrottr. I’m told this is extremely uncomplicated and I hope some of you will give this a try and let me know how it works.

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Bloomin Onion

This is how The Outback Restaurant describes its Bloomin Onion appetizer: a true Outback original. “Our special onion is hand-carved by a dedicated bloomologist, cooked until golden and ready to dip into our spicy signature bloom sauce.”

Sounds good, doesn’t it? Find out at the new Chubby Chatterbox why we were afraid to eat it.

Note: If you haven’t yet joined the new Chubby Chatterbox (Here) because you aren’t pleased or familiar with Google+ or Networked Blogs, there’s a third widget that’s been added to Chubby Chatterbox. All you need to do is submit your e-mail address on the blog page and then follow the simple instructions on a site called Blogtrottr. I’m told this is extremely uncomplicated and I hope some of you will give this a try and let me know how it works.

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The Deal Breaker on Becoming Jewish

  

     

Now that it’s Hanukkah I’m reposting a story from my memoir The Kid In the Kaleidoscope, a true tale about my decision to become Jewish when I was ten, and how I questioned my decision when I found out about the deal breaker….

Note: If you haven’t yet joined the new Chubby Chatterbox (Here) because you aren’t pleased or familiar with Google+ or Networked Blogs, there’s a third widget that’s been added to Chubby Chatterbox. It’s called Blogtrottr and all you need to do is submit your e-mail address and then follow the simple instructions. I’m told this is extremely uncomplicated and I hope some of you will give this a try and let me know how it works.

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A Killer Case of the Hickeys

  

Update: Thanks to everyone who has expressed concern and sent good wishes to my mother. Grandma Chatterbox had her surgery yesterday and all appears to be well. The doctors had to remove a foot of damaged bowel and my mother claims they dropped her on the floor after surgery while transferring her to the gurney for the trip to the recovery room. The doctors say this never happened and that drugs can play games with your imagination. Mom believes there’s a conspiracy afoot and she’s demanding an investigation—sounds like the old Mom, full of piss and vinegar. I’m sure she’ll pull through just fine; her nurses and doctors are another story. 

Note: If you haven’t yet joined the new Chubby Chatterbox because you aren’t pleased or familiar with Google+ or Networked Blogs, there’s a third widget that’s been added to Chubby Chatterbox. It’s called Blogtrottr and all you need to do is submit your e-mail address and then follow the simple instructions. I’m told this is extremely uncomplicated and I hope some of you will give this a try and let me know how it works.

Check here for one of my favorite true stories: A Killer Case of the Hickeys.

Gray Lady Down

 

Many of you who are regular readers of this blog are familiar with my mother, who I write about frequently. Unfortunately, Mom has been in the hospital with a bowel obstruction the past few days and Mrs. Chatterbox and I have been busy keeping her company and tending to her affairs. I don’t think Mom is in any real danger, but today her doctor decided to operate. The procedure will take place Friday morning. With surgery there are always risks, especially when dealing with a patient who’s eighty-seven years old.

      

Since I’ve been away from my computer this week, and could be for a while, I haven’t had time to respond to many of your posts or write new ones. For the next few days I’ll be rerunning a few of my favorites. These were written back in the day when I only had a handful of followers so they should be new to most of you. I’ll be back with new posts soon.

      

There’s one story I can’t wait to tell: Mom has a crush on her handsome surgeon, Dr. Fernando. Lying in a hospital bed for a week isn’t good for anyone’s appearance but today Mom requested a highly personal item to improve her appearance and increase her…allure, proving that even an eighty-seven year old woman with very few teeth can still respond to an attractive guy. You won’t believe what personal item my mother requested before going under the knife.

The World Awaits Us

 

Mrs. Chatterbox and I have selected our next travel destination, and we’re a bit concerned about it. Our destination is revealed here, and I hope you'll sign up to join the new Chubby Chatterbox while you’re at it.

Blue Car Tuesday

 

     

 I don’t post on Tuesdays but you might want to think about this story tomorrow, especially if you drive a blue car.

     

     The new guy had potential, even if he was an arrogant jerk. My father-in-law, who’d worked at the Fireman’s Fund Headquarters in Marin County for years, had a devilish sense of humor and decided to prank him. Read about it here, and then show your support for the new Chubby Chatterbox by signing up as a member.

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Seeing Red!

  

Now that Thanksgiving has come and gone many of my fellow bloggers are posting pictures of the arts and crafts they’re making as holiday gifts for friends and family. I can’t help but reflect on how inventive and imaginative people are out there in the Blogosphere. Such talent and creativity! It makes me think back to the time I decided to become an artist....

Have you joined the new Chubby Chatterbox yet? This site will be closing in a few weeks.